What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
