My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize