I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
