Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
