i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
