Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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