yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
