8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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