Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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