I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
