Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
