you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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