she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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