In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
