We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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