you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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