Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize