went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
