But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
