Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
