we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize