now i know why i became what i already was.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
