It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
