so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
