Soap is not a condiment
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
