if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
