mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Bring me that man meat
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
