dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
