I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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