Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
