oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
