8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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