If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
