My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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