Screwed.edu
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
