I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
