the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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