Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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