dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
