You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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