Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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