So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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