he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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