Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize