So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i think we sleep fucked last night...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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