It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
