dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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