come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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