before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
