Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
