May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
