you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
