Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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