420 ftw
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
