After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
