The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
