yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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