dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
