So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
