I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You are a booty call, not a friend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
