Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
