i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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