sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
