This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
