id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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